


the day Goro's heart stopped wavering

by shinkaiyo



Category: Persona 5
Genre: 7 years after p5r bad ending, ALL HE DESERVES IS HAPPINESS, Aged-Up Character(s), Bittersweet, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GORO AKECHI, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Not Beta Read, P5R Bad Ending, goro has the inner turmoil instead of akira, let him be happy, listen i'm tagging this as fluff And angst but it's like 9/10 fluff 1/10 angst, nothing happens here though, persona 5 royal spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24496633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinkaiyo/pseuds/shinkaiyo
Summary: It all felt so surreal. Being loved felt so incredibly not true. Having Akira in his arms, telling him he loved him, showing him he loved him felt so absurdly breakable. Like he could wake up one morning, alone in his (single) bed, realizing the past seven years were nothing but a dream.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 3
Kudos: 48





	the day Goro's heart stopped wavering

**Author's Note:**

> hi! it's been 4 years since i wrote anything for my own entertainment so i'm having way too many second thoughts about this, welp. btw english is not my first language and i think the pacing might be a little stiff because of this.
> 
> i've been wanting to write something for the p5r bad ending for a while, and also for akechi's birthday, so i thought: why not write both in the same fic, so here it is.
> 
> i hope you enjoy, and no, i'm not sorry.

Goro woke up to an empty bed. For some reason, it felt weirdly right: like he was never meant to wake up to someone beside him. 

Even though he’s lived with his very wonderful boyfriend for the past five years, he could not shake this feeling off his mind whenever he found himself alone in their bed. Or alone in general.

Damn it, sometimes this feeling of not-belonging creeped into him even in the middle of a gathering with all his friends (were them _his_ friends? Sometimes it didn’t feel like they were). He just shook it off most of the times, and when he couldn’t... Well, his boyfriend was there for him.

He huffed against his pillows and lingered in bed for minutes before he smelled coffee (his boyfriend’s coffee, because only he could make such good smelling coffee) and jolted awake. While rubbing his eyes, he heard the wooden floor creak when Akira stepped in their room, carrying a tray with sandwiches, tiny pancakes, a nice cup of coffee and... a small vase with a beautiful sunflower in it.

Looking confused, Goro could only mutter “What’s the occasion?” before he felt his boyfriend’s lips on his temple, peppering small kisses down his cheeks until he found his mouth and pressed a longer, although chaste, kiss to it.

“Good morning, honey” Akira whispered while his hands found Goro’s hair in an attempt to soothe his unruly hair. “That? Well, thought I’d whip up a small surprise to my boyfriend, so he can start his birthday off well-fed and knowing how much I love him!” Smug.

“Oh,” A realization. “Good morning, and thank you.”

It was only after he ate that he felt alive enough to process his surroundings: rain pitter-pattering on the window, his boyfriend sitting beside him, humming a song. 

This is real. (It didn’t _feel_ real, though).

“Great weather, can’t take you out on a date” Akira sighed while watching the light rain outside.

“I’d be very happy and a lot more comfortable if you just came here and cuddled me until we’re both too hungry to keep at it.”

“Oh, already with the demands?”

“Will you do it or not?”

“Of course I will! Today I will oblige to your every whim, so you can ask me a lot more than just cuddling, you know?”

“Shut up, I’ll think about other things later”

Akira moved the tray to the nightstand and tucked himself under the blankets with Goro. 

Soft touches, loving gazes, small kisses, hushed love confessions. 

It all felt _so_ surreal. Being loved felt so incredibly not true. Having Akira in his arms, telling him he loved him, _showing_ him he loved him felt so absurdly breakable. Like he could wake up one morning, alone in his (single) bed, realizing the past seven years were nothing but a dream.

For now, he ignored his inner turmoil and basked in the feeling of being loved his lover provided him.

  
  


\----

Hours later, Akira’s stomach was rumbling. He caressed Goro’s cheeks, who was watching the rise and fall of his boyfriend’s chest like it was the most important thing in the world. 

“Hey, love, what do you want for lunch?”

“Whatever you will cook.”

“I’ll cook whatever you _want_.”

“Anything’s fine as long as it’s your cooking”

Akira shuffled in Goro’s arms, as if to make him let go so he could get up and cook. Goro didn’t let go, though.

“Just, a little longer…” He whispered, moving his hands to his boyfriend’s neck.

“Hmm, sure, do I get anything?” Akira was holding his waist now.

Goro mumbled while he shifted them, laying on top of Akira, and kissed him languidly. They kissed until both of them were out of breath. Their foreheads and noses still touching when they drew away from each other’s mouths. 

“‘Kira…” Goro sounded exasperated “I love you.”

“I love you too, Goro” Akira giggled while moving his boyfriend out of him. “I’ll go cook us lunch now, ok?” A kiss.

“‘mmmkay” Goro didn’t want to let go of Akira’s neck while he got up, but he eventually did. 

\----

Half an hour later, Goro went into the living room, fresh out of the bath, smelling curry, like he should’ve expected. He moved to the kitchen, hugged Akira from behind, nuzzling his back and pressed a small kiss to his neck. The ‘thank you’ went unsaid, but not unnoticed. 

Goro was fiddling with his journal on the dinner table when Akira brought the pans and pots, alongside the plates and cutlery to the table. It was easier for them to have seconds that way. 

They ate silently, Goro’s only remark of “It’s good.” cutting through the air after the first bite. When they finished, they sat in silence for a while, hands finding one another across the table.

“So, what does my birthday prince wants to do, now?” Akira said.

“What about… say, watching movies?”

“That’s just another excuse for cuddling, isn’t it.” That wasn’t a question.

“Is there anything wrong with me wanting to cuddle my boyfriend for the whole day on _my_ birthday?”

“Nothing, honey. I’ll grab some blankets for us, and you choose the movie, okay?” Akira was beaming. How lovely.

So they did cuddle on the couch for the rest of the afternoon. Goro watching the movie, Akira watching Goro’s reactions to the movie. It was warm, it felt like home. Akira was Goro’s home, and vice-versa. 

In the end, the movie watching session turned into a plainly cuddling session, and then on a making out session. When they separated, both their faces red, hearts beating rapidly, Akira stared lovingly at Goro’s eyes. How his red eyes burned when they were too close always made him fall in love all over again. 

“What for dinner, love? You can’t get away with the ‘your cooking’ shit you pulled for lunch now”

“I was simply stating facts.” Goro cupped Akira’s cheeks “But well, seeming as it’s raining, a hot pot would be nice.”

Akira seemed to like the idea, seeing as he immediately got up, Goro pouting at the loss of his boyfriend’s heat.

“So why don’t we go on a grocery date for ingredients?” Taking Goro by the hand, Akira leaded the way to the door, where their shoes, coats and umbrellas were.

“Sure, I didn’t wanna leave your side anyway.” They were now both dressing their coats and shoes. Goro now by the door, holding his clear-plastic umbrella. 

Goro didn’t notice that Akira left the door unlocked, too busy indulging on the warm feeling of his boyfriend’s hands against his.

\----

Goro was sure they had gotten _way too many_ ingredients, but Akira only said they’d probably eat more hot pots now that the rainy season was starting, and having extra meant they didn’t have to go grocery shopping every time they wanted to eat it. He let it go. Akira was probably right anyway. 

This time, he saw when Akira turned the doorknob without even trying the keys. 

“Akira, you forgot to lock the door?!?” 

His boyfriend brought his hand to his neck, scratching it. “Yes, though I only noticed when we were already on the shop… Sorry.”

“I’ll forgive you… If no one broke into our house.” Huh. Akira thought Goro was rather forgiving today.

He let Goro take the lead, and when the man turned on the lights of their living room, he could only stop in his tracks.

“SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” All their friends shouted, at once. And it was _all_ of them. “Happy birthday, Goro!” Ann was the first to skip through the living room to greet him, giving him a warm hug. Goro still looked dumbfounded. It was endearing. 

“Thank you, Ann” And then, everyone else came to give him hugs and _happy birthdays_ with varying lengths of speeches and enthusiasm. When all this was over, Goro shot Akira a sharp glance and whispered:

“It seems we not only have a burglar, but eight of them. Do you think you deserve forgiveness?”

“Yes, because our burglars love you. And they have my consent to being here, so they’re not exactly burglars.”

“I’ll think about it.” Goro tried to seem serious, but he had a very cute smile, showing he wasn’t mad in the slightest, which made Akira proud of his plan. 

Goro finally went out of his shocked state enough to take in his surroundings, perceiving how their friends decorated the living room with All-Things-Goro-Akechi, in red and black. A fairly big cake, which seemed to be strawberry and vanilla with _lots_ of whipped cream in it. And also, many, _many_ bottles of what seemed to be expensive wine. Goro wondered how much money they spent on this. How much money they spent on _him_. 

Suddenly all his worries that they were more Akira’s friends than his seemed pathetic. They went through the trouble of coming here, even though they were all probably busy, bought him presents (if the _quite_ big pile of wrapped stuff in the couch was anything to go by), a cake _and_ expensive wine (though they probably had Ann charm the store clerk to get a discount on the latter). 

“So, what did you two decide to have for dinner?” Of course, Makoto went straight to the point. The engines on Goro’s brain started working. So this is _why_ they bought so many ingredients. Akira knew everything. Of course he did. He wasn’t such a fool to leave the door unlocked, too.

“We’re having hot pot!” Akira started moving to the kitchen to prep everything. “Who is going to help me?” Makoto and Kasumi followed him into the kitchen. Ann and Ryuji also moving, but to help set the table. The others stayed by Akechi, inciting pointless chatter, as to how he’s doing, telling him about the news of their lives, interests and whatever.

When they were done prepping, everyone sat around the table. They were using the small coffee table on the living room, because they definitely didn’t have enough chairs to get everyone seated on the dinner table. This way, everyone could comfortably sit on the floor around the table. 

Time passed by with chatter, funny banters and drunken shenanigans. Goro noticed that most wine bottles were already empty (not a hard feat, having ten people drinking). They played dumb board games, mimic games, and whatever other games they could come up with.

“Goro, you should open your presents!” Haru offered. Goro smiled. Of course he should. The present pile having moved from the couch to the dinner table so they could sit comfortably. Goro got up, sitting on one of the chairs by the dinner table nonchalantly. He reached for the closest one. It was from Makoto. He smiled at her while opening it, finding a book from one of his favourite authors that had just recently been released. 

Haru’s and Morgana’s went similarly, being books he really wanted. Kasumi had gotten him a new and stylish chess board. Futaba gave him a blu-ray of the new Featherman movie. Ann gave him ten 500 yen gift cards for his favourite sweets shop (so 5,000 yen worth of treats for his sweet-tooth). Ryuji’s was a fountain pen with an “G.” engraved on it. By then, he could feel tears prickling his eyes. When he saw Yusuke’s, though, he felt his last strand snapping. It was a painting of him and Akira, placed on a photo frame. It was small, but it looked amazing, he could see how much effort Yusuke put into this, and wondered for how long they were trying to plan this.

Of course, he was crying when he put the frame down. All his friends got up and suddenly, he saw himself in the middle of a group hug. He sobbed a little louder. “Thank you, everyone. I can’t even fathom how grateful I am for the whole effort you all put into this.”

“Stop this, Goro! You’re our friend!” Futaba accused.

“She’s right, bro! You’re our friend, and you deserve it!” Of course it was Ryuji. 

When they let go, Goro saw his boyfriend standing near them, looking a bit unsettled. He eyed him while he made his approach and the others gave way.

“So, I also have a gift for you.” Akira said while fiddling with the ends of his hair.

“Akira, you already do so much for me every day, you didn’t nee-” He was cut by his own brain telling him to shut up, because Akira _kneeled_ in front of him. 

“I thought a lot about what to say, but I never came to a conclusion. I thought the right words would come to me during this, but all I know is how much I love you, and how much I wish to spend the rest of my days with you, because you make me the happiest man on the surface of earth.” Goro’s brain was kind of shortcutting. He heard a whistle behind Akira, but he only had eyes for him at the moment. “Goro… Will you marry me?” Akira said while reaching for his pocket, and taking out a small box, opening it in front of him, showing two thin golden rings.

Goro’s sobbing only intensified while he threw himself forward, hitting his knees on the floor to properly hug Akira, sobbing on his shoulders for a while before pulling himself away to look straight into his eyes.

“Of course!” And lunged forward again to pepper kisses to his _fiance’s_ smiling mouth. He was about to deepen the kiss when he remembered they had an audience. More like, the audience made itself known, as they started whistling and clapping and _screaming_ . Goro tried to shoot them an unamused look, but failed as he was smiling too hard. Akira fumbled for his hand, his _left_ hand. 

Of course the ring fit perfectly, maybe Akira measured his finger on his sleep. Goro smiled at his hand, and then directed his smile at Akira, kissing him again while searching for his hands. With his left hand on top of his, he slid the ring on Akira’s finger. With hands on each other’s cheeks, they shared another kiss, a very long one, even if chaste. They were interrupted by someone, then.

“Oh my god, that was such an emotional ride, I’m kind of tearing up.” The voice was Ann’s. 

“Seconded,” And Kasumi’s.

“Thirded,” That was… Yusuke?

Goro didn’t dare to look up, though, his own face probably swelling with how hard he was crying. Hiding his face in his now fiance’s neck to try and dry the tears, he chuckled a little. Akira held him close while bringing them up from the floor. Although, Goro still had his arms around Akira even with them standing, while also hiding his face on the crook of his neck.

“It’s getting pretty late, why don’t we eat the cake and get going so the lovebirds can have their sweet time?” Makoto said, wanting to give the couple some alone time.

“I think you all should just sleep over, we’re all drunk and I don’t want anything bad happening while you all stroll drunkenly at this hours.” Akira replied, Goro’s muffled agreement noise coming shortly. “Let me just take care of this crybaby here, we’ll be back shortly to eat the cake.”

Having just said that, Akira sweeped Goro off his feet, carrying him bridal style to their room. The boy yelped, but held Akira’s neck stronger. Akira closed the door to their room softly, carefully letting go of Goro and holding his tear-stained face between his hands, kissing away his tears.

“Don’t cry, babe” Akira said, leaning his head against Goro’s and caressing his hair.

“Sorry… I’m just…” Goro hiccuped. “A little overwhelmed with happiness.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s ok.” Akira reassured him, pressing soft kisses to his cheeks. “Here, calm down.” He kept showering Goro’s face with kisses, but now had removed his hands from where they were at Goro’s hair and held his hands. It took a while, but Goro’s shuddering breath started calming down.

“Akira…?” Goro opened his eyes to meet his fiance’s. Akira hummed in response. “Kiss me.” Of course, Akira was more than happy to oblige. He kissed him hard, as if making up for the fact he didn’t get to do it earlier during his proposal. Goro more than melted into the kiss, completely calming down. When they parted, both their faces were red, finally realizing what happened earlier. 

“So… I guess we’re engaged?” Goro looked stunned.

“Well, if I recall correctly, you accepted, so I guess we are.” Akira’s smile was too bright. 

“Oh, always with a witty comeback, aren’t you?” Even trying to sound annoyed, Goro’s smile was also brighter than ever. “I love you, though.”

“I love you, too.” Akira pressed a kiss to his mouth. “Go wash your face, babe. We better go back before they break our whole living room.”

Making his way to the bathroom adjacent to their room, Goro felt all doubts about his life being erased. He suddenly knew he belonged here, with Akira. That the crew crowding their living room were as much as _his_ friends as they were Akira’s. That his place wasn’t in an empty, impersonal apartment, without a lover or friends. 

He felt tears prickle at the corner of his eyes again, but breathed deeply. He knew he should’ve came to this conclusion ages ago, but the inner turmoil felt almost external to him, like he couldn’t control it even if he wanted to. But the people in his life just killed it, and he couldn’t be more grateful. 

When he came back to their room, Akira had taken out all their spare mattresses, pillows and blankets. And was screaming back at the living room asking for help. Goro laughed to himself while grabbing everything he could. Haru soon strolled into the room and helped them with grabbing everything and bringing everything to the living room. 

“Wow man, that was the quickest fuck ever” Of course the dumb propaganda came off Ryuji’s mouth. Both Ann and Makoto elbowed him on each side of his ribs. 

“Ryuji, take your mind off the gutter.” Goro was sharp, but he seemed lively. “We just talked until I calmed down.”

Ignoring any further commentary from Ryuji, they dropped off the sleeping stuff near the couch, while seating themselves all around the small table that already held the cake and the few remaining bottles of wine. Akira sat beside Goro, holding him as close as possible as Morgana switched off the lights and Akira lighted the age candles. 

Everyone started singing _happy birthday_ and Goro felt like crying again, but Akira’s hold on him kept him steady. Of course he knew it’d happen. Goro blew the candles and wished that this happiness would last forever. 

Everyone stuffed their faces with cake and wine, pleasant hums and light chatter floating around the room, the end of their night becoming foreseeable. 

“Everyone, let’s start tidying up, it’s pretty late and I’m sure some of us have work tomorrow early” Everyone’s sleep police Morgana spoke up. Groans filled the room. Goro was more than eager to get started, he loved his friends but that day had him worned out and he only wanted to sleep. 

He and Akira brought his gifts to their room, while the others went on about their sleeping arrangements. Futaba and Yusuke, running away from the mess decided to take care of the dishes. They could sleep anywhere, having already too many experiences with sleeping on hard surfaces. Futaba on her gaming desk, Yusuke on the floor of his atelier. Morgana was tidying the rest of the room, having already decided to take up one of the couches. 

Goro and Akira watched their friends, hand in hand. The chatter went down to a buzz as they started working on getting the mattresses ready. It looked like they’d have a huge cuddle party tonight, with too little space for too many people. It was amusing.

“Guys, me and Goro are tuning out for the night, sleep well everyone.” Akira said nonchalantly.

“Uhm, also, I’ll be up by six in the morning as I have a meeting with a client, does anyone need to leave before that?” No one speaked up. “Good. So I’ll see those who need to leave in the morning then, good night.” He seemed to suddenly remember something. “And thank you, again, I had a lot of fun tonight.” 

They bid their goodnights , and then Akira and Goro found themselves on their room, getting ready to sleep.

On the bed, they kissed for a while, slow and sweet. Hushed voices saying _I love yous_. Hands and legs intertwined. They fell asleep on each other’s arms.

\----

Goro dreamt of a tiny, broken voice, whispering things he could not make out. Or that he subconsciously chose to not understand.

The dream shifted. He saw a single, blue butterfly. It was dead.

He woke up, Akira’s arms holding him close.

Oh, everything was **so** real.

**Author's Note:**

> IT HURT SO MUCH TO WRITE KASUMI INSTEAD OF SUMIRE I'M GOING BALLISTIC BYE AND ALSO KILLING LAVENZA? my heart is destroyed and i brought it upon myself. 
> 
> i know goro would hate this, but at this point i'm taking anything if it means he's alive and happy (even if it's fake)
> 
> also, i am posting this at midnight sharp on the 2nd of june. it is officially goro's birthday and i am gonna stuff myself in wine to commemorate just like the pts on this fic (except my wine is cheap lol)
> 
> ALSO ofc ann helped ryuji w his gift otherwise he'd have gotten something dumb like flavored condoms 
> 
> do talk to me on twitter, though! it's @soukuhananomai and i have p5r brainrot


End file.
